


Red Sun Rises

by Sillizicuni



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, M/M, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), POV Third Person, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-22 05:43:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2496602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sillizicuni/pseuds/Sillizicuni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His head was titled back, and he reluctantly met Erwin's eyes. He sighed softly, already knowing then that he'd yielded the discussion. Why did his resolve always crumble before this man..?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Sun Rises

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little thing I drabbled a few nights ago. Planning to do a SNK cosplay group with a few friends, and a big project with my Levi (I'm cosplaying Erwin), and the Eruri feels are getting to me big time! I needed an outlet for it, so that's why this happened! I haven't really written much in years, but hey! This pairing might just get me back into it! 
> 
> This is a type canon universe, non-canon happening thing.
> 
> Enjoy!

  
\---

Dawn broke above the horizon, the sun colouring the clouds in every shade of red, from an almost bright orange to the deepest crimson. It was beautiful, but eerie, how the sun could cause such a violent colour to spread across the sky.  
  
Blood red, Levi noted.  
  
He had already been awake for hours. He was restless for some reason. He was watching the sunrise from the window of a strangely empty office. It was the only place he felt relaxed. It was familiar. Somehow warmer than anyplace else. And it held __his__ scent... Sighing, he pressed his forehead against the cold glass, eyes fixated upon the gate in the wall in the far distance. He could barely make out the shape of it, but he liked to think that he'd be able to see if it opened from there..  
  
“ _I'm waiting...”_ he whispered.  
  
\---  
  
“Captain Ackerman...”  
  
Levi looked up from his book as an unsteady voice addressed him. It was long afternoon, and he was in one of the common rooms, trying to pass time by reading a random book he had picked up. He'd probably read this book before though, but he couldn't be absolutely sure; he wasn't really focusing on the words before him.  
  
The voice belonged to a soldier. A young man, wearing the harness of the 3D Maneuver Gear, his jacket and cape, both draped with the sigil of the Survey Corps. He didn't know his name. He probably should have known, but he had given up learning most of the names of new recruits a while ago. Somehow it always proved to be a waste of efforts, as they would turn out to be names he wouldn't have to use for long anyway... Levi took in the sight of him for a moment, puzzled by the younger man's current appearance. Why would he be wearing a full getup like that on a silent day like this? Levi studied the expression on the soldier's face for a brief moment. He looked disheveled, worn, tired.. Empty. Then it hit him. He'd seen things recently that didn't belong on a silent day like this.  
  
They were back.  
  
The Survey Corps had returned from their mission beyond the wall. This soldier was one of them.  
  
 _He_ was back.  
  
What a fool he was, Levi thought of himself, sitting there with his book, not paying attention to anything around him. How could he possibly have missed the fuss that always occurred once the rumour hit that the Scouting Legion were inside the wall again? Maybe because he was normally one of the ones returning..  
  
He was about to rise from his seat when his eyes fell upon the young man's hands. Or rather, whatever he was holding in them. Something green and dirty, it seemed. No, not dirt.  
  
Blood.  
  
It was a cape.  
  
His gaze rose to look at the soldier again, puzzled for a moment as to why he'd be presented with a cape in this state. The young man's eyes moved in his direction briefely, then avoided his gaze ever so slightly.  
  
“Sir, I...” the soldier hesitated.  
  
"Yes?" Levi prompted, starting to wonder about the other's strange behaviour. It brought an unease to Levi's mind that alarmed him.  
  
“Commander Smith, he...” he stopped there, lowering his head.  
  
Levi's brow furrowed. What was with this boy? Had Erwin sent him here to tell Levi something? What could be so important with this that a soldier was sent stuttering before him? Or rather, why wouldn't Erwin come himself? “Where is he?” Levi ordered, his patience running shallow.  
  
The other male just shook his head and thrust the cape in his hand forwards for Levi to take.  
  
“He fell...” the soldier whispered.  
  
It felt like time stopped. For a moment, Levi could only stare at the cape presented to him, as if it was some alien object he'd never seen before in his lifespan. His ears rung with a pressing, overwhelming silence, and he felt like he no longer belonged in his body. As if it wouldn't listen if he ordered it to move. Like he was watching this from outside. Like he wasn't hearing what the soldier was telling him. Like he couldn't take in the meaning of those words. Fallen.  
  
Dead.  
  
“I understand,” he heard himself say, voice steady and face void of anything that would hint to the nature of the questions he wanted to throw at the younger man. How could that have happened? Why? When?! He wanted to grab him by the neck and demand an explanation for these grave tidings, but he didn't. He only reached out and took a hold of the cape in front of him, nodding to the other as he did so. _  
  
_They'd lost comrades before. Why should this be any different? __  
  
“Thank you,” he said calmly, his tone dismissive. The soldier nodded somberly and walked away. The Captain looked down at the neatly folded cape, the Survey Corps symbol, the white and blue Wings of Freedom, stained with blood, staring back up at him almost mockingly. He sighed, before rising from his chair and heading out of the room, cape carefully held between his hands.  
  
He passed the Commander's office, his pace coming to a halt right outside the shut door. He felt his hands begin to tremble and a shuddered breath escaped him. If he'd only not let that door stop him...  
He shook his head quickly, forcing himself to start walking, hurrying to get to his chambers.  
  
\---  
  
 _“Levi, enough!”_  
  
 _The taller man's voice was sharp. Full of authority. Leaving little room for argument. They were in the Commander's office, Levi seething with irritation at the news that he would not be joining the Survey Corps on their upcoming mission. With all of them about ready to leave, he was not going to be left behind. Not for some lowly, already healing leg injury._  
  
 _Levi frowned, opting to not heed the warning in the other's voice. "I refuse to idly sit by and wait like some useless child while you go beyond the wall!” His tone laced with ice, not betraying any more emotion than his facial expression. Erwin stood from his desk, drawing up to his full height._  
  
 _“This is not your choice to make. I'm your Commander!”_  
  
 _“You need me out ther-”_  
  
 _“I need you alive!” Erwin cut him off. Levi's gaze snapped up to meet a painfully blue one for a brief moment. Erwin looked away, turning to the window behind him. “With the state you are in, you will slow us down. Not only will you jeopardize the mission, but also your life._  
  
 _“I will not fall behind..”_  
  
 _The taller male turned around to face him again. “It's not a risk I'll take...” His words were softer now, as was the expression in his eyes. It was an unusual sight. There was something behind that gaze that Levi couldn't quite read. This man's eyes would always hold a sense of strong, collected authority, as it was expected from his position to remain that way. Now there was a sense of dejection in that gaze, and it unsettled Levi._  
  
 _Erwin walked around his desk, coming to a halt in front of the other male when there was little space left between them. Levi was suddenly very aware of his breathing becoming uneven, clenching his hands into fists at his side. His breath betrayed him, hitching ever so slightly as he felt the warmth of the other man's gentle, almost careful touch to his chin. His head was titled back, and he reluctantly met Erwin's eyes. He sighed softly, already knowing then that he'd yielded the discussion. Why did his resolve always crumble before this man..?_  
  
 _“I cannot lose you...”_  
  
 _It was barely a whisper, but there were countless things written in Erwin's eyes. Things neither of them would voice, but that both ached to say. Levi felt his shoulders tremble at the other man's words, and he swallowed thickly. Now that Erwin held his gaze, Levi couldn't bring himself to look away. He was weak, and he knew it, but somehow he didn't care. He shuddered as he gave in to the touch, leaning ever so slightly against the hand on his face. Erwin's hands always seemed to grant him a sense of calm. Safety. And with that touch, and the look in the taller man's eyes, he knew exactly what it meant. And how he felt in return..._  
  
 _A sharp tap on the door and a voice announcing the soldiers ready to depart made them both tense, and Erwin quickly dropped his hand, his expression returning to his previous one of determination and conclusion. The spot on Levi's chin where their skin had been touched was burning, and he felt an instant pang of regret for letting the moment pass without taking the chance to have that sensation last longer..._  
  
 _“I must go.” the blonde man stated solemnly, returning with haste to behind his desk to pick up his cape that had been hanging off the back of his chair. Levi felt as if his legs were against him, not able to make himself move from the spot he was standing in. Erwin walked past him, towards the door, and Levi heard the slight hesitation in those footsteps. He turned to look at the other man, a thousand words caught in his throat but refusing to surface. Erwin looked at him, and Levi could see a flash in those eyes that resembled the clutching feeling in his own chest. The Commander turned his heel and walked to the door, opening it before meeting Levi's gaze a last time._  
  
 _“Wait for my return..” he said, the slightest smile on his lips, before closing the door behind him._  
  
\---

  
His room was cold, the sun having set already and leaving just a bleak light in the sky outside. Everything was long shadows and contours, but Levi could not get himself to light his lamp. The silence was pressing, the usually calming state of this time of eve now feeling unbearable and imprisoning. Claustrophobic.  
  
Dark green fabric was clutched in his hand. Levi didn't realize he was gripping it so hard that his knuckles were turning white. The moment he had closed the door of his room behind him he'd unfolded the cape, but instantly regretted it. Macabre, dark brown stains of dried blood were covering most of the uniform garment, making it crude to the touch. The right side was torn, more bloody than the rest. It smelled of smoke, and death.. But it also held the too familiar scent of a certain man, and there was no longer any way that there had been a mistake; that Erwin Smith had not fallen beyond the wall.  
  
Dead.  
  
Levi didn't realize he'd moved until he felt his back hit the wall, and that was when the first sob left his throat. His hands brought the cape up to his face, arms pressing against his chest as it felt like his whole body was attempting to crumble upon him. His lungs emptied in a long, silent scream, aching at the loss of oxygen, yet he couldn't find the ability to draw a new breath of air. His vision blurred, eyes stinging as they filled with tears. They fell before he could stop them, wet drops upon green fabric and harsh maroon blood stains. His legs gave in on him then, and he slid down to the floor, his back against the wall the only support keeping him in a sitting position. Hands trembling, he pressed Erwin's cape as close to himself as he could, and with another sob his lungs filled with air, but again he caught that scent. The smell of Erwin.  
  
“No...” he begged, as if the word itself would make it untrue. That it would bring Erwin back to him.  
  
Levi let the tears fall freely then. He didn't care anymore. No one could hear him. No one would care. It didn't matter.  
  
Erwin was dead.  
  
“I should've been there...” he whispered into the blood drenched cape. “I should've protected you..”  
  
And he should have. He should've never listened. He had never been one to follow orders or respect authorities, so why had Erwin convinced him otherwise. He would've never let this happen. It was his fault, because had he joined them, pushing out beyond the wall, against the titans, he would've been there to hinder whatever had happened.  
  
He would've never let Erwin die without him...  
  
So this was what mourning felt like... Loss.. Levi thought he'd experienced it enough times for it to pass by him without straining too much. Without causing him much pain anymore. He'd seen people, families, soldiers mourn the dead and lost before, but he'd never felt what it looked like they were experiencing. But how arrogant he had been, to think himself above it. To think no one would matter to him to cause him that much grief. Because this anguish spreading in his chest was beyond what he had thought was in him. Beyond anything he knew how to undertake.  
  
He didn't know how long he sat there... It felt like minutes, but also like days. Tears fell until there were none left to shed, and he was left there on the floor, empty and cold. Alone.  
  
“You fool...” he sobbed, voice filled with the feeling of betrayal and guilt. Hopelessness and grief. As if possible, he pressed Erwin's cape closer yet, trying to clutch onto that familiar scent. “...You were supposed to come back to me...”

\---

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Sorry about the sobfest! This pairing is just so perfect for angst, it's beautiful!! And I'm a sucker for angst! 
> 
> I hope there weren't too many mistakes language wise. English isn't my first language, but I try, haha! 
> 
> Feedback is appreciated!


End file.
